Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Off Shore Flow & Other Odd Things

Apparently I have that to blame for the return of the grey sky! Our weather is coming from off shore again. I have faith that the sunshine will return as it is only April and May can be such a lovely month here.

I found myself out and about during the course of my work day. At one point around 2:30 I made a grave error and drove near our local high school. The school day ends at this time and so several hundred teenagers get behind the wheel of their cars and begin to drive home. If you can call it driving. I'm certain my friends and I drove just as poorly. I mean we must have right?! It's just the years since graduation clouding my memory. About the time I thought I had made it through the streets surrounding the campus without incident there was an accident. It happened right next to me. Inches away. Had my car been 4 inches to the left I would have been involved it was that close. Instead I saw the car go by mine too fast and knew exactly what was coming next. CRASH!

The noise of metal on metal is one that I haven't heard in 18 years since my own car accident. Even though I wasn't involved in this one I found myself physically responding as though I had been. I was shaking and such. The human brain amazes me. How it can block memories out for almost two decades and in the matter of seconds a noise causes the memories to be released. In my thoughts it was the fall of 1991. I could feel the impact of the blazer hitting my car and my car spinning. Finally it coming to a stop and trying to get the door open. Then sitting on a curb in Plano, Texas at the corner of Legacy Drive and Preston Road waiting for my mother to arrive. I could see the car I had been driving, her car, up on the grass and the blazer I had collided with upside down on the street with a woman kicking in the windshield trying to get the driver out. Another man was trying to tend to me while we waited for EMT to arrive. I can see it all like a movie now playing in my head. Up until now, I had small memories of the accident mostly from just before and then later with the EMTs and talking with the Police. The majority of my knowledge came from the police report. For years after the accident I wouldn't even drive though the intersection. I was even afraid to return to driving. My Father forced me after giving me a few days to heal up mentally and phyically. It came back to me today. All of it and even half an hour later when I was back at the office I was still shaking. Like I said the human brain amazes me. I couldn't have handled it all back then, now I can. My brain kept the memories safely locked away until I could handle them. Amazing.

1 comment:

Squirrel said...

Aw Tamara I'm so sorry! That's awful. Thank goodness you were OK, and I hope those kids were too. Hopefully that's the last stage of healing now that you can recall what happened. {{hugs}}