Friday, May 14, 2010

Wedding Advice

This weekend my husband and I head off to join in celebrating a wedding in the family. These occassions always seem to take everyone's thoughts back to their own wedding and my are no different. I remember so many parts of that day like they were yesterday not in July of 1999.

The picture above is just as my parents have finished walking me down the isle. They are whispering their words of love and happiness. I remember this part so clearly. I then remember my father taking my hand and giving it to my husband, well my soon-to-be husband. My dad was too broken up at that point so he couldn't say anything. I do remember my friend Yvette, who's back is in the photo saying, "oh, Jerry". We all love my dad! Then together my husband I climbed the steps with the Pastor to be married. The vows, the rings, the candle, the prayer, the reading, the blessing and then finally the kiss. Husband and Wife 35 minutes later. Seems quick doesn't it? Something that you will spend hopefully your life building took only 35 minutes to set into motion. Seems like it should be like the birth of a child where people talk about it taking hours.

So that leads me to advice. What advice to give? What advice did I get? Well I was told A LOT to never go to bed angry. Sometimes that just doesn't work out in real life. Sometimes you can't solve it all in one day and you need to sleep on to see it clearly and that you were blowing something out of proportion. Sometimes you also need to sleep on to realize you need to ask for forgiveness. The Lord works best when we are quiet. I was also told to always keep doing those small romantic things that helped us fall in love. Well sometimes life isn't romantic. It is filled with dirty dishes, laundry, bills and work. None of that inspires constant romance. So along with these two I've thrown out most of the advice I was given by well meaning people on the day that I got married. I want to actually give advice that means something. I think what I've come up with is treat your spouse with the same care you would your best friend. When your best friend calls you make time for them right then. You don't say...I really need to back to doing this or that, making them wait knowing they have to understand. You also make plans to do fun things with your best friend. You are kind to your best friend. You probably wouldn't pick a fight with your best friend just because you are feeling frustrated either. Your spouse has married you because they want the best parts of you and love you in spite of the worst. You don't want to just give them the leftovers at the end of the day.

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up.
Ecclesiates 4:9-10 NIV


Squirrel said...

Great advice.
Our wedding was July 1999 too. How strange (and nice) is that, that we were both preparing for the same amazing occasion at the same time? LOL
Rosey x

Tamara said...

Rosey that is. A world away, yet we were doing and probably feeling very many of the same things that July. :)